Glenmorangie

Drunk, of course I’m drunk. I've not been sober for twenty years and another thing don’t be coming over to sympathise, or patronising, thinking ‘what a shame’.

Being a drunk is a life chosen not bestowed. The last thing needed around here is sympathy, but if you are here with a bottle of whisky, then sit down and together we will try to resolve whatever woes you might have.

Everybody needs a best friend now and again and sometimes whisky isn’t enough.

Talk friend, talk, talking is the way to make new friends.

Glenmorangie. A fine choice on such a fine day. Cheers.

Park benches and bar stools. The pews and pulpits for drunks. A wee quote from the distinguished and well versed, Jimmy Donnelly. A fellow drinker with more wit and wisdom than any member of the schooled debating chamber we call parliament.

Jimmy, a man’s man, never preaches, never mocks, but when he starts it can be a joyous trip into another world. A clean and a shave and he would be on the telly.

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. Mark Twain.

I read that a while ago and at the time, I didn’t really understand it. Now it has become somewhat of an unofficial motto. How I live life.

Happier people tend to be the kind with no worries, if the demeanour is worry then a smile will not be its companion.

I’m happy so therefore I cannot be insane, simple and effective.

Do you remember the song, ‘don’t worry be happy’? The man was right, don’t worry and happiness is sure to follow, a fellow humorist after my own heart.

Life is what you make of it and if your choice is to be a miserable git then so be it, just don’t be bloody preaching it to everybody else. At the same time, the other side of the coin is happy people preaching and that must be as bad.

Live your own life. Be yourself and if the choice is happy, then there will be other happy people to share it with. Miserable people tend to be on there own.

‘Thank you kind sir, and a good morning to you.’

What? Listen, I don’t beg, I simply put my hat on the ground and if the kind people of Edinburgh wish to contribute to the ‘Happy Fund’ then so be it. I never ask, never harass people, I always say thanks and It is always meant.

There is a lot to be said for drunks. There is…how many people do you know work away for some corporate machine and at the end of the day have nothing but contempt for the way they live. The daily routine, slave to the monthly cheque, and how many say on more than the odd occasion, ‘I wish I could walk away fro all this’, well drunks have done just that. Braver than it looks, being a drunk.

Drunks, they know how to walk away.

Now if you don’t mind friend your presence, though welcome anytime it is preventing a tired old man from some shut eye, the sun is up and I’m wearying.

By the way, I didn’t quite catch your name.

God…

Well, God, I’m Jack, and it is always a pleasure to meet new friends. Thanks for the wee chat and the whisky.

God, before you go, don’t feel embarrassed contributing to the ‘Happy Fund’.