Brown Sugar

July, and I had no worries bothering my mind, nothing can explain my moment of weakness. I should have looked the other way when you appeared at the party. I should have ignored you and like a fool I thought I could talk, flirt like old times and then walk away.

I was married with two beautiful kids and held a well respected position with the local council paying good money with good prospect. It had been sixteen years since these eyes last saw you, sixteen years since I walked away, fed up with the possessiveness, the selfishness. I decided to start afresh, vowed never to speak about or acknowledge your existence ever again. No one knew we were once lovers, no one knew we onced danced cheek to cheek.

November, only five months later and I feel sick for falling for destructive charms once again. Your beauty is as it was, a mirage that hides a true ugly self and you'll never change. Like a fly dragged in by the spider on her web, seduced by the same false promises and like a silly schoolboy I believed I could carry on life as normal, one life at home and another with you.

Now all I have is nothing, the marriage, the kids and the house are all but memories I know I can’t return to. She tossed me aside as soon as the truth was known of our trysts. Work is no longer an option, they also relieved me when they discovered our little secret, my position was such that a public enquiry wouldn’t be in their interests. Why didn’t I see, why didn’t I learn from the first time we met, your beauty quickly deteriorates with each visit, and still the visits became more frequent not less.

Brown sugar