Holiday Blues

‘Well Bill, this is it, a moment of truth,’ Ina said to her husband handing him a bottle of water.

Bill gagged when he looked at the size of the blue diamond shaped pill he held in his hand, ‘are you sure this is safe?’ he said to his wife as she fixed on some lipstick.

‘Oh for God sake Bill, stop being such a fuddy duddy, and take the bloody thing,’ Ina said, and snapped her handbag shut.

Bill popped the pill in his mouth, and with the help of the water, he managed to swallow. He wasn’t as convinced as Ina, he was still trying to figure it all out. How could a little blue pill make something work, some things just don’t seem right? He thought.

Dressed in their finest clobber, they then went down to the hotel dinning room for the evening supper and a few in the mood drinks.

Ina could hardly contain her excitement, it had been a few years since they had managed anything resembling sex, and the last few menopausal years she hadn’t missed it either. Now she felt a need to feel womanly again, and Bill, for all he was willing, other parts weren’t. Ina did all the research, and she bought them from a web site that came with some encouraging users comments.

The comments proved to be true, and Ina made a note to add her recommendation when they got home.

#

The next day at the pool Bill couldn’t get rid of the erection, he lay beside the pool sunbathing on his belly, and Ina, you would have had to slap her to remove the grin from her face.

Bill never uses sun cram, and unable to turn around like a spit roast, he felt his back burn. In a rare moment of quiet when no one was looking he made a dash for the pool, and immersed himself in the cooling water.

After a while, a little boy came ambling by with a ball under one arm, and eating an ice lolly with the other.

‘Hey mister,’ he said, squinting his face from the glare reflecting off the water, ‘what are you doing sitting in the shallow end?’

‘Go away,’ said Bill splashing himself with water, but the child wouldn’t move, he was a defiant little shit.

Ina, she was no help; she had fallen asleep with the grin still intact, and no doubt dreaming about later.

‘Throw the ball in,’ Bill said, thinking about how he could get out of the situation without any embarrassment.

The child thought about it still squinting, looking at Bill, and trying to figure if he meant what he said.

‘It’s a real football mister,’ he said.

‘Just throw me the fucking thing,’ Bill said, agitated enough that if he had a gun, he’d shoot the annoying little shit, and he’d shoot anyone who complained about it.

The boy threw the ball in. Bill looked around, no one was paying any attention, so he launched it as far as he could into the manicured, and totally false green shrubbery.

The boy, pouted, put his hands on his hips, and looked at Bill with disgust, ‘What an asshole you are. That was no accident, was it? He said, and went to retreat his real David Beckham football his Mother had spent four euros’ on, just to shut him up for five minutes; she was now drunk on the all inclusive gin, and could care who little Tom was annoying.

Bill made a hunched dash for the sun-bed hoping no one would notice his shorts were sticking out too far.

Later that night, Ina dined alone, Bill couldn't get off the loo, he had a dose of ‘the skitters’ brought on by sunstroke. He spent the rest of the holiday in bed lying on his belly bemoaning the blue pill. His back was blistered, and burned raw; Ina had to keep rubbing calamine lotion into it.

Ina, wasn’t in the least bit upset, she was determined that despite the circumstances, she was on holiday, and as far as she was concerned, she was going to enjoy herself. She didn’t rest on her laurels, or lament her husbands misfortune, she sought, and found solace with Juan. The aging Don, the hotel bar manager had what seemed like an endless supply of little blue pills. Her grin grew as he grew, the holiday went on, and Bill was none the wiser.

Ina, already has them booked into the same hotel for next year.